I ask you, the readers, for the second time in the past week, what the hell is wrong with our country? I’ve realized, as a whole, our country could use a lollipop, because we seem to have the attention span and priority list of a five year old. You flick on the news every morning, and you hope to all that’s right in the world that the news anchor will look straight out from your little talking picture box and give you a verbal pat on the back by telling you everything is okay. Everything that’s actually IMPORTANT in the world is floating on the up-sell. Instead, once the broadcast is over, we’re left scratching our heads and wondering if the big shots in our country have actually collectively developed their own learning disorder.
So, here are a few thoughts to tickle your noodle. Perhaps, I can offer a little insight into the ridiculousness. At the very least, I’m bringing you a way to kill fifteen minutes while you wait for the next Tweet from Angelina’s ankle.
Staff Sergeant Robert Bales
Here, we have the all time of political disasters. This guy strolls over to some village and slaughters seventeen Afghanistan civilians, including nine children. Now, in my very unprofessional opinion, it’s likely he did it. Whether you blame it on the stress of the situations we put our soldiers in, some random mental disorder, or you just think the guy’s a sociopath, it doesn’t really matter. Guilty is guilty, and in this case, the guy is a first-rate contender for the next Charles Manson. That is, however, just my opinion. Now, on to what I absolutely do not understand about this whole situation. First off, our country claims to want to send a message of freedom and compassion. We talk of justice and security, and yet, Staff Sgt. Bales is sitting safely in solitary confinement over in Fort Leavenworth with the knowledge that his trial could be “months or more” away. There is no delicate handling of this. Sit the guy in the courtroom tomorrow, and pound the gavel. If we want to send a message to these other countries, how about showing we do not harbor killers? Bales’s defense is that he “can’t remember.” I can’t remember a lot of things. I can’t remember going to sleep last night. Doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. This needs to be dealt with quickly, and firmly. Enough of this political square dancing.
Kim Kardashian Flour Bombed On The Red Carpet
Where do I even start here? This no-talent “celebrity” gets some flour dumped on her head, and the world stopped spinning for about twenty seconds. Police were called. The suspect was arrested. Kim gets five more minutes of undeserving attention. This morning, I wake up to hear Starr Jones telling Matt Lauer that celebrity bullying cannot go unnoticed, and the woman should basically be made an example of. Congratulations on your social consciousness, Starr. Let’s throw this woman to the gallows while George Zimmerman goes out and shoots another “suspicious” teenager for walking in the wrong neighborhood. What do I think? I think Kardashian needs to get that flour out of her hair and use it to learn to cook so she’s at least contributing SOME kind of skill to society. Honestly, just writing about this is difficult for me, because I feel like making this news is just another step towards a real-life version of the movie “Idiocracy.” However, it’s important to point out the ridiculousness of this whole non-event. It’s just the perfect example of what our country’s priorities are.
The Hunger Games vs. Twilight
In another piece of non-news, the record-breaking success of the new tween obsession, The Hunger Games, has sparked a lot of comments around the web noting how The Hunger Games is just so much better than the whole Twilight saga. Now, okay, while this is a ridiculous argument to be held for longer than one half of a second for many reasons, there are a few things that stand out to me. First off, what many may not want to admit is, the people making these comments are likely the same ones who flipped out when the whole Twihard madness started. They’re equal to the twenty-five year olds now swearing to all that’s holy that they never bought a single Pokemon card when they were growing up. The next problem with this is, it’s a movie. The sheer amount of energy being put into this crap could probably have Joseph Kony in prison by tomorrow. Channel your internet anger into something productive. Now, I’ll be the first to step up and say, yeah, I’ve seen Twilight. I’ll probably see The Hunger Games, as well. Does this mean I lose sleep over which “team” I’m on? Hell no. I’m a fan of movies. Any movies. I advise everyone to take this stance on it. Your day will be a lot happier if you stop having a heart attack every time you hear the words “Team Edward.” Basically, my message is simple. Can we stop turning into three year olds who were just got their cookies taken away every time a new book-based movie hits the theaters? It’s getting old. Enjoy it all or hate it all. It’s your choice. I just don’t want to hear about it.
So, there you have it. More stupidity in America. I think we can learn from all of these amazingly interesting events. And, obviously, by that I mean these things mean absolutely nothing to the betterment of our country. It has to be stopped. Anyway. There’s sure to be more stupidity coming, so definitely be sure to stick around.
- Top Story: Army Staff Sgt Robert Bales charged with 17 counts of murder (bazaardaily.com)
- Staff Sgt. Robert Bales Charged With 17 Counts Of Murder (inquisitr.com)
- The Army’s Futile Bales Whitewash (thedailybeast.com)
- Wife defends soldier accused in Afghan rampage (newsok.com)
- Wife defends of soldier accused in Afghan rampage (newsok.com)
- Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Won’t Be Forgotten (celebs.gather.com)
- The Hunger Games Slaughters the Competition for Our Entertainment [Box Office] (gawker.com)
- Freckles, Gamemakers, and War in the Arena: The Hunger Games (tor.com)
- Does Kim Kardashian’s Flour Bomber Have PETA in Her Legal Corner? (eonline.com)
- Kim Kardashian Gets Hit With a Bag of Flour While Promoting Her Fragrance (popsugar.com)
- Kim Kardashian Flour Bombed: Trending Topic Enrages Those Seeking Justice for Trayvon Martin (celebs.gather.com)